Schakolad Trailer
by Princess Rahnee Honey Lizard
Summary: Ratatouille Remy is happy being the head chef at La Ratatouille...until Colette brings in a new chef...


Remy's narrations are written between double parentheses. ((narrate))

A chocolate brown rat with a wide, pink ribbon tied around her middle walks between two bowls carrying an egg. She breaks the egg into the smaller bowl then tosses the empty shell over her shoulder, where it rolls down her outstretched tail and into the trash bin by the counter. She checks the eggs in the bowl then pours them into the bigger bowl. The rat steps around the big bowl to get her whisk when the big bowl slides off screen.

Remy sits on a tin, stirring the chocolate cake batter with his own whisk. Suddenly a wooden spoon smashes into him, knocking him off the tin and making him drop the whisk. The she-rat climbs upon the tin and starts stirring the batter with Remy's whisk. She lifts the whisk to check the batter when the tin starts sliding away from the bowl. She squeaks angrily and knocks Remy's toque off with the whisk.

Remy takes that as a cue and runs off around the bowl to an upturned glass. He climbs onto the glass holding the she-rat's whisk and starts stirring the batter again. He stops and gets that look that means he knows something is not quite right. Remy squeaks in pain as the she-rat chomps his tail. She scurries away, but, not watching where she's going, slams into the bowl.

Remy chases after her, running into the bowl as well. As the two face off, the bowl starts to teeter dangerously on the edge of the counter. The two rats lunge for the bowl, but it's too late. The chocolate batter is reflected in green and brown eyes as it spills from the bowl. Then everything stops.

((This...this is obviously not right.))

Remy is angrily cleaning at the batter on the floor with a rag. "I...I mean," Remy sighs, looking at the camera.

"I respect Colette and everything...but..."

He points to the she-rat who is cleaning behind him. She looks up.

"Did she _have _to bring a _fancy rat_ in here?" Remy says, almost laughing. The she-rat gives a cute sort of 'humph' and turns back to cleaning. "Ah, c'mon, Little Brother," Emile says, walking on screen. "I mean, you 'n' Antoinette are a lot alike, you know...huh?" Emile smiles, elbowing Remy.

"What? No!"

"Antoinette 'n' Remy," Emile starts to sing. The bowl, which has been sitting on its side in a puddle of batter, flips over, trapping Emile with some of the batter. Emile is still singing, but it is partially drowned out by the bowl and the batter he is eating. Antoinette jumps up to sit on the bottom of the bowl. "Yeah," Remy scoffs at his brother's suggestion, "like I'm gonna get with some _fancy rat _who likes to BITE!"

"She'll be good for you, Remy!"

Django's voice drifts down from the counter top. "Dad!" Remy yells up. "She's bit me three times today! Three times!"

"Whatever. I want grandkids..."

Antoinette slides off the bowl, and Emile peeks out, having forgotten what he was singing about. "Well," she says, speaking for the first time. "_I _wouldn't get with a guy who does not understand the _negative connotations_ that the phrase 'fancy rat' _has_ for me." Antoinette stands a little closer to the batter-covered Emile.

"Besides, I prefer the term 'pet rat', isn't that right, Big Boy?"

She surreptitiously runs a finger over one of Emile's whiskers, then walks away. Emile has an unreadable expression on his face, and then his whiskers straighten with a _sproing!_ "Yes!" he cries in answer, running after her. Antoinette gives a squeal of surprise and delight as the batter-covered Emile scoops her up into a hug.

"Either way, I'm getting grandkids! Either way!"

Remy places a paw on his tiny muzzle and stares at the camera with one bloodshot eye.

((This is just too much for one rat chef to take...))

The bowl of chocolate cake batter finally hits the floor. Colette walks over and looks from the cake batter to the rats perched on the edge of the counter. The rats immediately point to each other as the the culprit. Colette stands very still, her face unseen by the camera, and the two rats seem to melt under her glare.

"Emile...help..."


End file.
